I don’t play PC games. I don’t play Mac games (yes, there is such a thing). There are many reasons for this. I don’t want to have to keep upgrading my machine every 6-12 months so that I can play the latest and greatest games at something resembling a viewable resolution. I’m not big into the shooting, RTS, and MMORPG genres where, traditionally, PC gaming provides the generally-accepted optimal experience. PC ports tend to lag behind their console counterparts. I don’t hate PC gaming, it’s just not my cup of tea.

Another reason that I can add now: DRM. Digital Rights Management. The scourge of technological advancement. A draconian, overbearing idea that only minorly inconveniences its intended target (pirates), but really screws the heck out of legitimate paying customers. DRM is something mostly unique to PC gaming given how you can install numerous entire DVDs onto today’s huge hard drives and run them from there without having to mod anything to do so.

The latest DRM brewhaha comes courtesy of Ubisoft, who are implementing a fabulous new DRM system. Since apparently everybody in the world not only has an Internet connection, but a fast and reliable one, Ubi are going to require you to always have a permanent online connection to be able to play games that will use the new DRM, like The Settlers 7 (the first game to feature it) and likely Assassin’s Creed 2, which, you know, you needed online for anyways with all that multiplayer action going on. Sure, you don’t need the CD or DVD to play now, and apparently you’ll be able to install the game as many times as you want, plus have the handy feature of Cloud Saving (games are saved on Ubisoft’s servers, meaning you could pick up your save from any machine you want to play on and continue without hauling USB sticks around). Of course, should you lose your connection, the game could stop and, in the worst case, revert you to your last checkpoint, meaning losing connectivity now carries the same consequences as, well, death. And don’t even bother trying to play on the go on your gaming laptop unless you can get WiFi or 3G everywhere you are.

I’ll stop ragging on Ubisoft because they certainly aren’t the only ones doing this, they just have the latest and greatest. Yes, pirating is a problem that costs game publishers untold millions every year, and thus they’ve been trying to find ways to combat it. Remember code wheels? Stopping to enter the sixth word from the fifth page of the manual (which you never photocopied, wink wink nudge nudge)? Disk checks even though the entire contents fit easily on the faster-performing hard drive?

Heck, let’s get away from gaming for a brief moment. Remember CDs that wouldn’t let you rip them to iTunes? I once bought a copy of Elkland’s Golden after seeing them perform the opening act of a concert. I had to rip it into Windows Media Player (only protected WMA files were allowed, which you can’t play on an iPod), reburn the CD, then rip that reburned CD into iTunes, all so I could listen to an album that I legitimately purchased on my iPod. Even after iTunes got rid of DRM on songs in their Music Store, it still applies to videos and apps.

Back to gaming. Your downloaded games? DRMed. Game saves? I once faced the prospect of losing my game saves on my Wii because there was a form of DRM on the freaking game save files that would have made transfer to a new system impossible. Only a rare tri-wing screwdriver (ironically, a tool used by hackers to help install mod chips to let you play copied Wii games) saved me from that fate.

What has DRM really accomplished? Nothing! Pirates are STILL costing game publishers and developers millions in revenue. People figured out how to circumvent previous anti-pirating measures, and they’ll do the same for any future ones. There are some brilliant nerds out there who will always figure out how to circumvent these things. Plus, now you’ve enraged your legitimate customers and provided a challenge to the hackers, who froth at the mouth at the opportunity to crack the latest and greatest attempt to stymie them. People are already talking about boycotting Ubisoft PC games like they have with other publishers who insist on DRM. Ubi are already in damage control mode. And workable copies of games are STILL showing up on the torrent sites the day that the game releases, or even before.

And in case us console gamers get a little smug, please don’t. Yes, most games still need the disc, but as hard drives get bigger, people will find ways to install entire discs on the hard drives and play directly from there, just like with PCs. Digital downloads are already soaked with DRM. The Wii and 360 have already been hacked, and the first cracks in the PS3 have recently appeared. At some point, I wouldn’t be shocked to see some sort of DRM with console gaming.

The problem here is the pirates. Not the technology. Not the general public. Yet the pirates are only affected for a short amount of time, while the customers are affected forever. Why are companies fighting the wrong party on a consistent basis? I realize that the companies are stuck in a position where they have to stop the bleeding of lost revenue from pirating, a legitimate and serious problem. And I don’t have an answer for what they can do. But I know that DRM is not that answer.