As a parent, I’ve come to appreciate the ESRB Rating System for video games. It’s a good tool for helping me gauge how appropriate a game is for Oldest Son (who’s 5 1/2) to play. And it’s very simple at its core. In fact, Oldest Son is *very* proficient with it. He understands that he’s allowed to play games rated E for Everyone (he actually says the full rating, ie. “T for Teen, M for Mature”, it’s adorable), that an E-10 rating means he’s not technically old enough to play, but if Daddy plays with him, it’s ok. T for Teen means he’s not allowed to play the game (well, Super Smash Bros. Brawl was an exception for a while, but Mommy put a stop to that after his first SSBB-related dream), but maybe he can look at the case, and that he can’t even hold the case for M for Mature games.

What’s my point?

Well, besides bragging about how smart my kid is, of course, my point is that if a 5 year old can get this, why are there so many idiots out there who don’t? How many helicopter parents out there actually take the time (what, 5 minutes?) to read and understand how the system works? If they did, maybe 14-15 year olds wouldn’t be playing Grand Theft Auto all the time while mommy and daddy sat there obliviously doing something else. News Flash: Niko Bellic is not a very good babysitter! Of course, these same parents will act all indignant and start looking for somebody to blame when their kid does something stupid and the feces hits the fan. And they’ll blame the video games. They always do.

“My kid punched a girl in the face when she wouldn’t kiss him because he saw it in Grand Theft Auto! Then he stole a car and drove it into a river. Now he’s a degenerate darts player.”

“My 14-year-old daughter got breast implants and starves herself because ‘all the girls in video games have 36D breasts and 20 inch waists and boys like that’. And why is she always talking about Hot Coffee dates with the boys? She seems a little young to be drinking coffee.”

Here’s a novel idea, how about you do your job as a parent? Instead of blaming the evil video games, blame your negligent parenting. How did the kids get access to these games? Did you buy it for them without looking at the rating? Are they playing it at a friend’s house? Can you even answer these questions?

I’ll help. If you bought the game for them: FAIL. If you don’t know how they got their hands on the game: FAIL. If you haven’t taught them about playing appropriate games: FAIL. If you’re relying on the gaming industry and politicians to do all your parenting for you: EPIC FAIL.

And speaking of those opportunistic scumbags, politicians are just as bad. The ESRB system works. But it’s a tool, not the be-all, end-all easy fix. But that doesn’t seem to get you elected these days. Sensationalizing violent and sexy video games gets you press and votes from lazy parents who want you to do their job for them. So instead of telling parents what they need to hear, they waste your tax dollars trying to get ridiculous anti-gaming laws passed while the economy spirals downward faster than Jack Thompson’s career.

It’s terrible that my son knows and understands the gaming rating system better than many adults. It just shows the level of intelligence of the people who are supposed to be the leaders of our society. We’re so boned.